Still Mel’s Friend (Yes, That Mel Robbins)

Just listened to Mel’s podcast with Dr. Chatterjee. Now, you know I wasn’t expecting to be blown away by their “simple tips” that will totally change your life in five minutes. Of course they won’t, but listen up. Think about these two:

1. How many bites do you actually take in one meal?

2. What are you drinking with your meals? (Hint: It matters.)

Mel loves a good MD chat, and this Chatterjee guy is 6’6” and slim—lucky him! Reminds me of a conversation I had with Meredith Luce (Registered Dietitian and 80Bites co-creator). She spilled the beans and said what only a very few want to hear: If you don’t want to gain weight, it helps to be tall, muscular, male, and young!!

Dr. C is all hyped up, telling Mel five minutes of exercise will change your life! Also, if you’ve had insomnia for a decade, don’t worry, he’s got the breathwork fix. (Sweet, useless, and just as effective as every other wellness mantra before it.)

They never say “diet” anymore—because, surprise! Diets don’t work. But intuitive eating? Also a scam, because let’s be real—if you’re overweight, your hunger cues are already broken. And let’s not even start on high-intensity workouts. Congrats, you just torched calories and wrecked your hormones! Now you’ve got elevated cortisol and too much estrogen. Welcome to the new buzzword: Hormonally challenged.

Of course, there’s a magic bullet now: Ozempic! Three years ago, nobody knew the name, now everyone and their dog does.

But back to the podcast. Dr. C tells this riveting story about an overweight, lethargic patient with love handles (aka, a waistline north of 35 inches). He asks if the guy goes to the gym. (Spoiler: No.) Then, in a genius move, he asks what exercise he used to like—answer: strength training. So doc prescribes him a month of gym time. A month later? Nada. So, like a true wellness hero, he takes off his white coat and gets down on the floor for some impromptu kitchen push-ups. (Yeah, do squats while cooking—what could possibly go wrong?)

Fast-forward another month—miracle! The guy’s a fitness guru now! Five minutes a day, life changed. Right? Wrong. If you’re already fit, maybe it helps. If you’re overweight and unfit? It’s nothing. Worse—it could hurt you.

And then the doc drops the real wisdom bomb: Sleep! Get 8 hours a night. That’s the new holy grail.

Honestly, I don’t get it. I sleep fine. But people with insomnia? They try everything, and nothing really works long-term (except pills, which they don’t want to take). But hey, fun fact: The Parasetters® I co-invented might actually help. It’s this comfy dual-roller system that supports your spine, improves posture, lowers cortisol, and—oh yeah—accidentally cures insomnia! One Pilates client called it “better than sex.” (It’s not, but I’ll take the compliment.)

Wellness trends are like bad exes—they keep coming back under different names. We went from “torch calories” to “eat clean” to “sleep more” to “move gently.” It’s all just noise. Look at Weight Watchers stock—it was $0.46 last week. Should’ve shorted it.

So here’s the real deal if you actually want to change:

1. Find out how much you eat. Use the 80Bites app (it’s free) and count your bites. Around 25-30? That’s full. If you’re at 50, congrats, you broke your hunger hormones.

2. What are you drinking? Not water (if you want to lose weight). But also not an entire bottle of wine (unless you don’t care).

3. Forget hardcore workouts. They make you hungrier. And raising cortisol is the last thing you need.

4. Protein, protein, protein. Because Atkins became keto, and keto became whatever’s next. But ultimately, all manipulations fail.

Mel Robbins? She’s got the perfect formula—hype, enthusiasm, and telling people what they want to hear. Until they move on to the next guru… or finally get the meds they need… or just give up.

So, what’s your move?

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