NOOM Wants to Help Me Lose Weight (I'm 5'6", 125 lbs)

What follows is my email exchange with NOOM. But here’s some words to position my POV:

If you know me—or you’ve seen a photo—you already know I’m not exactly their target customer. I’m 5’6”, about 125 pounds, with a 28-inch waist. So why am I signing up for a “weight loss” app?

Because I’m in the weight-loss business and the Pilates business, and part of the job is tracking the competition. And NOOM is serious competition.

Here’s the short backstory. More than 15 years ago, two very clever tech people saw what everyone could see: people were getting fatter—especially younger people. So they built “Weight Watchers,” but rebranded for a generation that would rather eat glass than join the same program their mothers did.

Instead of leading with physiology, NOOM led with psychology, cute labels, little stars, endless affirmations, and constant support. It’s designed for people who need to be told, 24/7, that they’re doing amazing just for opening the app.

Meanwhile, their mothers went to actual, live Weight Watchers meetings: you got weighed, you sat in a room, and everyone tried to figure out why their weight wasn’t dropping. Which reminds me of a story—horrible, but completely on-brand for this industry.

A friend-of-a-friend was a Weight Watchers group leader. She pulled into the parking lot before a meeting and saw one of her regular members sitting in the car next to her. The woman opened a box of fudge—dense, rich, the kind where one piece should be “enough”—and she didn’t eat it like a person. She stuffed it in, barely chewing, swallowing fast like she was racing a clock. It looked like she could choke. Then she wiped her hands, grabbed her bag, and walked into the meeting.

People always ask, “Why would she do that?”

Because when she got weighed, the fudge wouldn’t register yet.

That’s the sickness. And it didn’t go away. It multiplied.

Now back to NOOM: there are no meetings. It’s all online, all automated “support,” and yes—lightning-fast calorie estimates, suggestions, nudges, and “personalization.” But it’s still the same old formula, dressed up in better fonts:

Eat fewer calories. Exercise more.

And the formula is wrong.

A diet almost always means you reduce calories—but most people simultaneously increase quantity (more volume, more bites). Huge salads. “Clean” food. You feel virtuous… while you’re quietly training your stomach for bigger capacity and creating the exact hormonal backlash that makes your body dig in and say: Nope. We hate this. We’re holding onto fat.

That’s why these programs “work” briefly and then fail forever. And NOOM became a monster success—hundreds of millions in revenue—because selling hope is the most profitable product in America.

But now the whole industry is nervous, because the ground is shifting. GLP-1 drugs changed the conversation, and suddenly “diet + exercise” doesn’t look like the hero storyline anymore—it looks like the thing that didn’t work for decades.

Here’s what I can’t stop thinking about:

Are the big Pharma companies just going along with the wellness script because it’s socially safe (“eat healthy,” “move more,” “balance,” “clean eating”)?

Or are they being strategically dishonest—knowing that if they keep people focused on low calories + high quantity + hard exercise, they’ll stay metabolically stuck and stay on the drugs longer?

No one will ever admit the answer out loud.

And meanwhile, the lie lives on: nearly every person I meet still believes “diet and exercise” is the way to lose weight—even though it’s been a spectacular failure at population scale.

I watch bodies all day. That’s my business. I sit near a pricey little café by my office and I see well-off women buying expensive “healthy” food… with 35–36 inch waists. They should be five to ten inches smaller. Many of them have been dieting since they were 14. They think they’re doing the right thing. They’re not.

So yes: I keep tabs on competitors. I’ve joined Weight Watchers, I’ve joined NOOM, and every time I test the “personalization,” it turns into a comedy.

With NOOM, I entered my real stats—5’6”, 125 pounds, age 84—and told them a “goal weight” of 118 (which they should have flagged as a bad idea). Any responsible program would say: Stop. You’re not our customer.

Instead? The opposite. Email after email. Discounts. “Sign today and you’ll hit your goal by ___.” It’s relentless.

And then there’s the most absurd part: the “coach” replies read like AI. When I asked directly, they swore they weren’t AI—which, in 2025, basically means they are.

It’s a perfect snapshot of how sick this whole business is: constant emails, no shame, and a product based on a failed formula. They’ll chase money from anyone—thin women, older women, people who can’t afford groceries—because the system runs on churn.

And for the record: if you want a line that sums up my position, it’s this:

You’d be better off having a hot dog on a bun with sauerkraut, a fizzy drink, and a cookie than eating one of their giant “virtuous” salads—because at least you’re not stretching your stomach and training your hormones to fight you.

So—read the exchange below if you want proof. If these are real humans, they’re shameless. If they’re AI, the business model is still shameless.

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EMAIL EXCHANGE WITH NOOM

NOOM — Dec 27, 2025

Save 77% on your annual plan.

Joan - Dec 27, 2025

Wake up the Ozempic pill will be released in 2 weeks. It will be FREE SINCE WHAT YOU’RE SAVING FOOD MEANS YOU’LL ACTUALLY BE MAKING MONEY AND ALL THE DOPEY DIETS WILL BE GONE. IT’LL ONLY BE 80BITES

Fathy Emil (Noom Support) - Dec 29, 2025

Hi Joan Breibart ,

Thanks for contacting Noom Support.

I’ll be happy to assist you so I can resolve your issue, but I’ll need some additional information.

If it’s not too much trouble, please share any steps you’ve taken or error messages you’re receiving. Also, if possible, please include a full screenshot or two of what you’re experiencing so I can better understand the issue and provide the most accurate support possible.

I’ll get to the bottom of this as soon as I know more about what you’re experiencing. I look forward to your reply!

Joan - Dec 29, 2025

thx for this moronic message Or is this your dumb AI? Ever hear of Ozempic?

Fathy Emil (Noom Support) - Dec 29, 2025

Hello Joan,

I hope you are doing well.

I understand you are inquiring about Ozempic. To better assist you, could you please confirm if you are looking to start a new subscription or if you have specific questions regarding the medication?

Joan - Dec 29, 2025

Inquiring about Ozempic dope I invested in a years ago so I’m just telling you the game is over bye-bye Noom bye-bye don’t be diet

Fathy Emil (Noom Support) - Dec 29, 2025

Hi Joan Breibart ,

Thank you for reaching out to Noom Support and sharing your feedback!

We’re so happy to hear you achieved your goals and are pleased with your results with Noom. We feel honored that we could help you along the way and are confident that with your new skills, you’ll have no problem achieving ongoing success on your own!

Thanks for believing in us and more importantly, believing in yourself!

If you have any additional feedback or questions, please don’t hesitate to let me know!

Joan - Dec 29, 2025

I never did Noom, which is just Weight Watchers for those under 40 and I’m 84. I weigh the same. I weighed when I was at college. Your AI IS NUTS NOOM WILL GO OUR OF BIZ. THX FOR THESE ST STU STUPID EMAILS.

Omnia Taha Awad (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan,

Thank you for sharing your feedback with us. We appreciate hearing from all of our users, and we’ll be sure to pass your comments along to the team.

Warm regards,

Omnia Awad | Noom Support

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

I am not a user you stupid AI or phony person i’m insulting you and you come back with these lovey-dovey comments are you sick?

Mohamed Shazly (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan ,

Thanks for contacting Noom Support.

I’ll be happy to assist you so I can resolve your issue, but I’ll need some additional information.

If it’s not too much trouble, please share any steps you’ve taken or error messages you’re receiving. Also, if possible, please include a full screenshot or two of what you’re experiencing so I can better understand the issue and provide the most accurate support possible.

I’ll get to the bottom of this as soon as I know more about what you’re experiencing. I look forward to your reply!

Warm Regards,

Mohamed Shazly | Noom

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

So you are AI, yes?

Mohamed Shazly (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan,

Can assure you that I’m a real person, and my name is Mohamed.

I’m truly committed to getting this right for you, but I find I just need a little more detail about what’s happening on your end. Could you clarify The issue you’re facing? Once I have a better picture of the situation, I’ll do my very best to get this resolved for you quickly.

Warm Regards,

Mohamed Shazly | Noom

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

There’s no issue you can’t be this dumb. I’m insulting Noom. I know the owners they said young people won’t do Weight Watchers. Obviously this was before the real solution Ozempic so we’ll make one with a lot of little curses Wellness BITCH STUFF Look at 80BITES

Mohamed Shazly (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan Breibart ,

Thanks so much for taking the time to contact Noom Support with your feedback!

We value your feedback and I want to let you know that you’re being heard. As Noom’s Customer Support Team, we’re happy to advocate for you and our other Noomers. I’ve shared your feedback with our Product and Leadership teams so they can work on improving this aspect of the Noom experience.

Please don’t hesitate to let me know if I can assist you with anything else!

Warm Regards,

Mohamed Shazly | Noom

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

I am publishing this entire sequence and then everyone will LAUGH

Mohamed Shazly (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan,

I’m truly sorry. It sounds like my previous messages felt a bit impersonal, and that was never my intention.

I value your time and your commitment to your health journey, and I don’t want this experience to overshadow that. My goal is to be your advocate here at Noom.

Before we move forward, could you let me know exactly what you need from me today to resolve this? Whether it’s a specific clarification or a different action on your account, I am ready to do my best to make it happen.

Warm Regards,

Mohamed Shazly | Noom

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

U r not real no one is that dumb. I am 84 and never been an ounce overweight I am Not on a phony health journey This gets funnier each exchange

Mohamed Shazly (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan,

Thank you for your message.

I hear your frustration, and I’m truly sorry that this experience has felt confusing or frustrating that’s certainly not what we want for you.

I want to be very clear that there’s no assumption on our end about you being on a health journey or needing our services. My goal here is simply to understand what specifically prompted you to reach out, so I can address the right concern and avoid any further back-and-forth that isn’t helpful to you.

If you could let me know what you’d like assistance with or if you’d prefer no further action at all—I’ll make sure it’s handled appropriately and respectfully.

Thank you for your time, and I appreciate your patience.

Warm Regards,

Mohamed Shazly | Noom

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

I am in the Phoniness detection business and all weight loss and most fitness or prime target. I am having fun and will put zoom and WW OUT OF BIZ SOON BYE BYE

Mohamed Shazly (Noom Support) - Dec 30, 2025

Hi Joan,

Thank you for reaching out. I hear your message and understand that you’re passionate about your work and opinions on the industry.

If you have any specific questions or need assistance related to Noom, I’m happy to help. My goal is to make sure you get the support you need.

Warm Regards,

Mohamed Shazly | Noom

Joan - Dec 30, 2025

you are a jewel! And what do u like about NOOM ?

Diaz (Noom Support) - Dec 31, 2025

Hi Joan,

Thanks for reaching out to Noom Support!

What I like about Noom is the Daily Lessons: Breaking big lifestyle changes into bite-sized, 5-to-10-minute lessons is a great way to respect people’s busy schedules while still encouraging growth.

In the meantime, please share any questions you have about your account so I can better understand the issue and provide the most accurate support possible.

I look forward to your reply!

Best wishes,

Diaz I NOOM Support

Joan - Dec 31, 2025

no the bites need to be real. 80BITES. Max for a day but 60 bites is enough

Yaseen Mohamed (Noom Support) - Dec 31, 2025

Hello Joan,

Thank you for reaching noom support

I can assure you that our curriculum and client resources are built upon a foundation of extensive scientific research and real-world experience. We take great pride in ensuring that our database provides the most reliable and effective guidance for our community.

Best Regards Yaseen

Joan - Dec 31, 2025

American Heart Association and 180 major US MEDICAL ORGANIZATIONS have just confirmed that we are NOW 70% OBESE and not the BMI FRAUD that says 40%!! Harvard University has just confirmed that no diet work I’m 84 and I can remember when Weight Watchers started in 1963 at that point people were worried about losing 10 pounds now it’s closer to 70 pounds. Obviously nobody believes anybody’s science cause all they need to do is look. Jb

Yaseen Mohamed (Noom Support) - Dec 31, 2025

Hello Joan,

Thank you for reaching noom support

Please be assured that the lessons and information we provide are not only based on proven research but are also enriched by practical life experiences. Our goal is to offer a program that is both scientifically sound and deeply relatable to your journey.

Best Regards Yaseen

Joan - Dec 31, 2025

Guess that is the issue - PLAYING WITH Nutrients failed everyone

Yaseen Mohamed (Noom Support) - Dec 31, 2025

Hi Joan Breibart ,

Thanks for contacting Noom Support.

I’ll be happy to assist you so I can resolve your issue, but I’ll need some additional information.

If it’s not too much trouble, please share any steps you’ve taken or error messages you’re receiving. Also, if possible, please include a full screenshot or two of what you’re experiencing so I can better understand the issue and provide the most accurate support possible.

I’ll get to the bottom of this as soon as I know more about what you’re experiencing. I look forward to your reply!

Best Regards Yaseen

Joan - Dec 31, 2025

no one can talk straight it is all coo-ing and branding. Obviously I am playing

Bradly (Noom Support) - Jan 1, 2026

Hi Joan,

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us. I understand that you were reaching out to express your opinions, and we truly appreciate hearing from everyone, even when it’s critical or playful.

At this time, no further action is needed on your account. Your messages and feedback have been shared with our team, and we will take them into consideration as we continue to improve our programs.

We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Kind Regards,

Brad || Noom