Welcome to the never-ending buffet of dieting trends!
You’ve probably heard the latest: intermittent fasting. It’s the cool kid at the diet table, acting like it’s not really a diet. But, spoiler alert: it’s just another way to make you question your love for late-night snacks.
Since the 1960s, we’ve tried every gimmick to shrink our waistlines—Weight Watchers (now WW, because apparently, even diets want to sound hip), cabbage soup, and even grapefruit everything. Yet, obesity rates keep climbing like a toddler who just discovered stairs. So, what gives?
The Diet Industry: Making Billions Off Your Snack Guilt
Let’s face it: the diet industry thrives because it preys on our desire to shed pounds faster than we can shed bad relationships. Every few years, it serves up another shiny, new promise—like intermittent fasting—wrapped in hope and sprinkled with disappointment.
The formula is simple:
Make you feel bad for eating cake.
Offer a convoluted solution that involves math, time zones, and sometimes the lunar calendar.
Watch you struggle, fail, and come back for the next fad.
Cha-ching!
Human Nature vs. Diet Rules: The Ultimate Showdown
Here’s the thing about diets—they treat you like a robot. “Eat this, not that.” “Don’t eat after 8 p.m.” “Stop looking at the fridge like it owes you money.”
But humans are rebellious by nature. Tell us we can’t have something, and suddenly we want it more. Like toddlers with cookies. Or adults with cookies.
Intermittent Fasting: It’s Just Skipping Breakfast with Extra Steps
Ah, intermittent fasting. The diet that says, “Hey, don’t eat now—eat later!” Popular versions include:
The 5:2 Diet: Eat normally for five days, then pretend you’re a rabbit nibbling on 500 calories the other two.
Time-Restricted Feeding: Eat only between 12 p.m. and 8 p.m., because apparently food outside those hours is a gremlin.
It sounds revolutionary until you realize it’s just the old “skip meals” trick in trendy packaging. And while it might work for some, most of us end up hangry, bingeing on chips at 8:01 p.m., wondering where it all went wrong.
Arbitrary Rules = Hangry Humans
Diets like intermittent fasting fail because life is unpredictable. What happens when your friend throws a brunch at 10 a.m. and you’re on a “fast”? Do you stare at the eggs like a sad Victorian orphan? Or break the rules and feel guilty later?
Quantity Over Restrictions: The Not-So-Sexy Truth
Here’s a revolutionary idea: instead of obsessing over when you eat or cutting out entire food groups, just eat less. That’s it. No apps, no charts, no guilt trips from Karen in your diet group.
How? Try these unglamorous yet effective tricks:
Portion Sizes: Who knew your dinner shouldn’t look like a buffet platter?
Slow Down: Chew like your grandma’s watching, not like you’re competing in a hot dog-eating contest.
Skip the Snacking: Your stomach isn’t a bored toddler. It doesn’t need constant entertainment.
Blame Your Hormones (Not Your Willpower)
Weight loss isn’t just about calories—it’s also about your body’s chemistry set. Hormones like insulin, leptin, and ghrelin are running the show, and constant snacking turns them into chaos goblins. Eating less and less often helps them chill out, which makes weight loss more manageable.
The 80 Bites App: Because Counting Bites Is Easier Than Counting Calories
Want a simple way to keep portions in check? Meet the 80 Bites bite counting app. It’s like a Fitbit, but for your mouth. Track how many bites you take, and stop before you accidentally consume half the fridge.
Benefits include:
Mindful Eating: Every bite counts. Literally.
Stomach Reset: Stop treating your stomach like a bottomless pit.
Hormone Help: Your body will thank you for not treating it like a grazing field.
Why Most Diets Are Like Bad Tinder Dates
Diets fail because they’re pushy, rigid, and just not that into you. They:
Trigger rebellion. (“Oh, I can’t eat pizza? Watch me.”)
Ignore your needs. (Yes, we all need fries sometimes.)
Cause stress. (And stress makes you crave cookies. Thanks, cortisol!)
Eat Like a Human: A Simpler Way Forward
Let’s ditch the complicated diets and return to basics. Eat what you love, but less of it. Listen to your body. And for the love of carbs, stop torturing yourself with rules.
Here’s your cheat sheet:
Track Your Intake: Use tools like 80 Bites to keep portions reasonable.
Shrink Portions Gradually: No need to go cold turkey on turkey.
Cut the Grazing: Your stomach isn’t a 24/7 diner.
Pay Attention: If you’re full, put down the fork. Revolutionary, right?
Conclusion: Food Rules Are Made to Be Broken
Intermittent fasting is just another diet dressed up as the next big thing. Instead of playing by its rules, try focusing on how much you eat. The secret isn’t skipping meals or demonizing carbs—it’s eating like a reasonable human.
Now go enjoy your life. And maybe a cookie. Just, you know, not 12.
Always to the point with a side of humor. Joan Breibart cuts through the B.S. of the diet industry and calls it like it is.
Forgive me if I pointed this out previously. Both fasting and exercise reduce the circulating polyunsaturated fatty acid load. For example, "The increased proportional intake of dietary fat, decrease in feeding frequency and increased physical activity in free-ranging compared to captive cheetahs are all predicted to result in enhanced mitochondrial FA oxidation through the lowering of circulating glucose concentrations and insulin:glucagon ratios. During fasting/refeeding cycles and increased levels of exercise, tissue PUFA concentrations have been shown to deplete rapidly in both humans and rats. These studies show that most PUFAs, including α-linolenic acid (ALA) and linoleic acid (LA), are preferentially oxidized in periods of exercise or fasting. During refeeding, SFAs and monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFAs), such as palmitic acid and oleic acid, are also more rapidly replaced than any of the PUFAs. Similarly, the concentrations of most plasma PUFAs and MUFAs have been shown to be significantly lower in rats fed a high fat ketogenic diet than in controls. The predicted increase in FA oxidation in free-ranging cheetahs is therefore likely to also skew their serum FA profiles toward lower proportional serum concentrations of PUFAs and MUFAs relative to SFA." https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0167608
So, fasting and exercise help prevent this from happening. "Fatty acid composition in the Western diet has shifted from saturated to polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs), and specifically to linoleic acid (LA, 18:2), which has gradually increased in the diet over the past 50 y to become the most abundant dietary fatty acid in human adipose tissue. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9060469/