2026: America Turns 250 – Should We Be Worried?
Next year marks America’s 250th birthday! Why is this significant? Well, historians like Sir John Glubb warn that empires typically have a lifespan of around 250 years (about 10 generations) before they start to, well... tank. You know, like the Roman Empire, the Persian Empire, the British Empire—and now, allegedly, us. But instead of facing this with introspection, we do what we do best—rebrand it! Enter MAGA, our patriotic response to historical decline. “America’s falling? Nah, just making it great again!”
Glubb’s theory outlines the predictable life cycle of empires:
Birth (the scrappy underdog phase)
Growth (we’re on top of the world!)
Peak (winning, but complacent)
Decline (wait, why is everything on fire?)
Naturally, everyone’s too busy blaming the other side to notice the patterns. Big Talkers/Posters on the left like Robert Reich and on the right like Richard Hanania are stuck pointing fingers, completely ignoring the real signs—like our expanding waistlines. Yes, somehow we’ve mutated as a nation. Remember how obesity and Covid were besties? Pint sized Dr. Fauci—barely taller than a potted plant and as slim as a Super Model—knew the CDC’s BMI stats were a joke. Obesity equals inflammation, and the virus hated it, but we just didn’t want to hear it.
And speaking of denial, nothing screams "superficial wellness" like Instagram. Here’s a post on our 80Bites page:
Hey @80bites,
I recently came across your Instagram page and I was really impressed by your focus on promoting healthy eating and exercise. Your original portion control diet and Pilates for the stomach are great ways to improve overall health and fitness. I appreciate the effort to educate and inspire your audience to make positive changes. Keep up the great work!
We never talk about “healthy”—that’s just a branding distraction from the real issue: overeating and binging. . The post is all feel-good fluff about “portion control” and “exercise.” Meanwhile, the real crisis isn’t calories; it’s our obsession with avoiding the O letter (as in obesity) —unless we’re talking about Ozempic or Oprah.
Oh, and tariffs. You think food prices are bad now? Wait till the new ones hit. Soon we’ll all have to learn portion control, not because it’s trendy, but because we can’t afford that third cheeseburger because a lot of our food comes from Mexico and Canada and importers pay more → retailers pass on the cost → grocery prices rise so people buy less. This not only affects fruits, vegetables, and grains — but also processed foods that use these ingredients. Consumers can’t afford as much volume as before so:
People eat smaller portions or skip meals entirely.
The stomach naturally adjusts to lower volume intake over time.
Smaller stomach capacity = reduced hunger signaling (less ghrelin production).
Less stomach stretching leads to lower habitual hunger.
People adapt mentally to eating less as the new normal.
Snacking frequency decreases because smaller meals become sufficient.
Less food volume = LESS HUNGER and fewer calories
Food choices remain the same –pizza, burgers, fries, and chicken nuggets-- but the portion size naturally shrinks.
Over months or years, gradual weight loss occurs due to consistent calorie deficit as a result of normalizing HUNGER.
Obesity rates decrease as people give up dopey diets and punishing exercise to “torch” calories which leads to pain and injuries and increased cortisol levels.
Economic pressure leads to less. We still Shop
Buy Eat Repeat just less of it.
America slims down not from nutrition manipulations but from economic scarcity.
When you can't afford to eat as much, you naturally lose weight.
Tariffs will make people healthier; overeating is not what the Blue Zone people do.
Understood.